Lamp Posts
Feb. 3rd, 2022 11:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shellstepTitle: Lamp Posts
Author:shellstep
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: None.
WARNINGS: None.
Summary: A salty tear stopped at his lips, and he knew what it meant. He should have never come back.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse.
Author’s note: This story was originally posted at the Museslash Livejournal Community circa 2007/2008. I still have it in my computer so I thought I should just go ahead and post it.
Matt stared straight ahead, the leather sticking to his poorly covered back. Each lamp post was a torture to his tired eyes. He parked the car smoothly, looking at the rear-view mirror once before getting out of the vehicle and making his way towards the door he knew all too well.
Ringing the doorbell still unnerved him.
The face that greeted him was slightly different, as though it was a picture that had been retouched.
“Come on in, we were waiting for you.” Dom said, smiling gently. He looked older, refined; the contours that lined his face seemed much more mature and thinner. He was almost thirty- it had been five years since they’d last seen each other.
Matt answered with a small thanks, stepping inside the house that was once familiar- all the furniture had been replaced now and the place smelled of cinnamon and wood. Matt took a deep breath.
The voices quietened once he reached the living room; Chris with Kelly and a woman he didn’t recognize. She had long dark hair sprawled on her shoulders.
Dom gestured for Matt to take a seat, which he did, thankfully yet awkwardly.
“Matt, this is Jessica.” Dom declared proudly. “We’re getting married soon.”
Matt felt incredibly sick. He managed to disguise his consternation with a nod and a small smile. The couple exchanged love glances.
He didn’t have the guts to speak to Chris. In fact, why was he even there? Matt shook his head. He knew he shouldn’t have come back to this goddamn town. It was all coming back to him now; he could feel it. He thought of himself as a pariah every time he set foot in Teignmouth. He had vowed never to return, but destiny had reserved three concerts at Devon and Dom contacted him a few days earlier, inviting him over. Matt wondered why he still hadn’t moved out. He didn’t imagine it to be possible for anyone to spend their lives isolated in a tiny town, devoid of any excitement the world possessed. Some people never change.
The fish was predictably good; Dom was known for his rather than excellent culinary skills. From one side of the table, Chris kissed Kelly’s hand; on the other side, Dom looked at Matt while rubbing a hand up and down Jessica’s arm in an attempt to warm her up, or maybe more out of habit. Matt couldn’t tell. The continuous staring brought pain to his stomach.
Chris raised his glass of wine and said cheerfully:
“To the soon-to-be-married couple!”
There were cheers everywhere and Matt played along, taking a long sip of the red liquid before setting it back on the table. He looked at the tablecloth closely, a memory flashing in his mind. It was the same tablecloth he had stared at for what seemed like hours after he’d told Dom about his plans. About leaving the band and starting a solo career. His excuse?
We are all just too different.
Which of course, was a lie. How Dom had taken those words seriously was still a mystery to Matt. There was no resistance from his part, he just accepted it. Just like that. No trying to convince Matt to think twice, no arguments. That was why he concluded the band didn’t need him anymore. But instead of bringing him relief, Matt’s decision only left him feeling unbearably lonely, like a discarded piece of paper. He left anyway. There was no goodbye party.
“So how’s life been treating you?” Dom asked casually, but the way his teeth scraped over his bottom lip betrayed him.
“Pretty decently.” Matt replied, not lying but not really speaking the truth. “How’s the band?”
Dom glanced at Chris, then at his own hands. A ring sparkled on his finger.
“Not as good as it was five years ago.”
Matt nodded vaguely; his appetite suddenly spoiled. He furrowed his eyebrows, the atmosphere tense. Nobody said anything for the rest of the night.
*
“Thanks.” Matt said as he looked at Dom from the doorstep. “It was a really good meal.”
Dom bit on his lip anxiously, letting out a deep breath.
“I really missed you, y’know.”
“I know.” Matt said quietly but confidently, heading to his car without saying another word.
A salty tear stopped at his lips, and he knew what it meant. He should have never come back.
*
The other day Dom called him again. Matt was just on his way to the market when the phone rang with an incessant shrill.
“You coming over tonight?” Dom asked after an uncomfortable silence.
“Yeah. I’ll bring the wine.”
*
Several hours later Matt was staring at that door again. He considered hiding behind a tree when he heard steps approaching.
“Glad you’re here.” Dom gave him a close-mouthed smile, motioning for Matt to come in.
“Where’s everyone?” Matt inquired as they reached the empty living room. Dom took the wine from Matt’s hand and put it on the table.
“They’ll be coming soon.”
Uneasy, Matt sat down on the brown couch; the whole living room had a coffee-and-cream pattern of colours, the complete opposite of what it used to be years ago- a total mess of hideous bright colours.
“Are you hungry?” Dom asked as he sat down next to Matt.
“I can wait.” Matt shrugged.
A morbid silence fell between the two men. As Dom struggled to find something to say, Matt struggled to be silent.
“Do you ever wish you hadn’t left five years ago?” Dom’s voice was lower than usual, sustaining a desperate tone at the end of the sentence. He swallowed dryly as several seconds passed by without an answer.
“Wishing is not gonna do me any good.”
Matt had already been expecting this kind of conversation. He also knew no one else was coming; he was always late. He considered telling Dom about why he left and never came back, and why Dom let him leave. But Matt didn’t have the guts to ask such a thing. He never did.
“Don’t you miss me?”
Matt nodded, looking at Dom for the first time that night, but quickly shifted his gaze. He never wanted to feel that way again, like his insides were threatening to explode every time he listened to Dom’s voice. That night it became worse. He knew what he had to do.
“You know I do.”
“So why did you leave?” Dom pressed on, eyes shimmering with upcoming tears.
Matt stood up, letting out a shaky breath.
“Because I miss you too much when I’m with you.”
He stared deeply into Dom’s eyes for a few seconds, the light catching on the tears that flowed gracefully down his face. The grey in them became brightly illuminated, like a blinding lamp post. They were a torture to Matt’s aching heart.
Matt left again, and still Dom didn’t stop him.
Author:
shellstepPairing: Belldom
Rating: None.
WARNINGS: None.
Summary: A salty tear stopped at his lips, and he knew what it meant. He should have never come back.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse.
Author’s note: This story was originally posted at the Museslash Livejournal Community circa 2007/2008. I still have it in my computer so I thought I should just go ahead and post it.
Matt stared straight ahead, the leather sticking to his poorly covered back. Each lamp post was a torture to his tired eyes. He parked the car smoothly, looking at the rear-view mirror once before getting out of the vehicle and making his way towards the door he knew all too well.
Ringing the doorbell still unnerved him.
The face that greeted him was slightly different, as though it was a picture that had been retouched.
“Come on in, we were waiting for you.” Dom said, smiling gently. He looked older, refined; the contours that lined his face seemed much more mature and thinner. He was almost thirty- it had been five years since they’d last seen each other.
Matt answered with a small thanks, stepping inside the house that was once familiar- all the furniture had been replaced now and the place smelled of cinnamon and wood. Matt took a deep breath.
The voices quietened once he reached the living room; Chris with Kelly and a woman he didn’t recognize. She had long dark hair sprawled on her shoulders.
Dom gestured for Matt to take a seat, which he did, thankfully yet awkwardly.
“Matt, this is Jessica.” Dom declared proudly. “We’re getting married soon.”
Matt felt incredibly sick. He managed to disguise his consternation with a nod and a small smile. The couple exchanged love glances.
He didn’t have the guts to speak to Chris. In fact, why was he even there? Matt shook his head. He knew he shouldn’t have come back to this goddamn town. It was all coming back to him now; he could feel it. He thought of himself as a pariah every time he set foot in Teignmouth. He had vowed never to return, but destiny had reserved three concerts at Devon and Dom contacted him a few days earlier, inviting him over. Matt wondered why he still hadn’t moved out. He didn’t imagine it to be possible for anyone to spend their lives isolated in a tiny town, devoid of any excitement the world possessed. Some people never change.
The fish was predictably good; Dom was known for his rather than excellent culinary skills. From one side of the table, Chris kissed Kelly’s hand; on the other side, Dom looked at Matt while rubbing a hand up and down Jessica’s arm in an attempt to warm her up, or maybe more out of habit. Matt couldn’t tell. The continuous staring brought pain to his stomach.
Chris raised his glass of wine and said cheerfully:
“To the soon-to-be-married couple!”
There were cheers everywhere and Matt played along, taking a long sip of the red liquid before setting it back on the table. He looked at the tablecloth closely, a memory flashing in his mind. It was the same tablecloth he had stared at for what seemed like hours after he’d told Dom about his plans. About leaving the band and starting a solo career. His excuse?
We are all just too different.
Which of course, was a lie. How Dom had taken those words seriously was still a mystery to Matt. There was no resistance from his part, he just accepted it. Just like that. No trying to convince Matt to think twice, no arguments. That was why he concluded the band didn’t need him anymore. But instead of bringing him relief, Matt’s decision only left him feeling unbearably lonely, like a discarded piece of paper. He left anyway. There was no goodbye party.
“So how’s life been treating you?” Dom asked casually, but the way his teeth scraped over his bottom lip betrayed him.
“Pretty decently.” Matt replied, not lying but not really speaking the truth. “How’s the band?”
Dom glanced at Chris, then at his own hands. A ring sparkled on his finger.
“Not as good as it was five years ago.”
Matt nodded vaguely; his appetite suddenly spoiled. He furrowed his eyebrows, the atmosphere tense. Nobody said anything for the rest of the night.
*
“Thanks.” Matt said as he looked at Dom from the doorstep. “It was a really good meal.”
Dom bit on his lip anxiously, letting out a deep breath.
“I really missed you, y’know.”
“I know.” Matt said quietly but confidently, heading to his car without saying another word.
A salty tear stopped at his lips, and he knew what it meant. He should have never come back.
*
The other day Dom called him again. Matt was just on his way to the market when the phone rang with an incessant shrill.
“You coming over tonight?” Dom asked after an uncomfortable silence.
“Yeah. I’ll bring the wine.”
*
Several hours later Matt was staring at that door again. He considered hiding behind a tree when he heard steps approaching.
“Glad you’re here.” Dom gave him a close-mouthed smile, motioning for Matt to come in.
“Where’s everyone?” Matt inquired as they reached the empty living room. Dom took the wine from Matt’s hand and put it on the table.
“They’ll be coming soon.”
Uneasy, Matt sat down on the brown couch; the whole living room had a coffee-and-cream pattern of colours, the complete opposite of what it used to be years ago- a total mess of hideous bright colours.
“Are you hungry?” Dom asked as he sat down next to Matt.
“I can wait.” Matt shrugged.
A morbid silence fell between the two men. As Dom struggled to find something to say, Matt struggled to be silent.
“Do you ever wish you hadn’t left five years ago?” Dom’s voice was lower than usual, sustaining a desperate tone at the end of the sentence. He swallowed dryly as several seconds passed by without an answer.
“Wishing is not gonna do me any good.”
Matt had already been expecting this kind of conversation. He also knew no one else was coming; he was always late. He considered telling Dom about why he left and never came back, and why Dom let him leave. But Matt didn’t have the guts to ask such a thing. He never did.
“Don’t you miss me?”
Matt nodded, looking at Dom for the first time that night, but quickly shifted his gaze. He never wanted to feel that way again, like his insides were threatening to explode every time he listened to Dom’s voice. That night it became worse. He knew what he had to do.
“You know I do.”
“So why did you leave?” Dom pressed on, eyes shimmering with upcoming tears.
Matt stood up, letting out a shaky breath.
“Because I miss you too much when I’m with you.”
He stared deeply into Dom’s eyes for a few seconds, the light catching on the tears that flowed gracefully down his face. The grey in them became brightly illuminated, like a blinding lamp post. They were a torture to Matt’s aching heart.
Matt left again, and still Dom didn’t stop him.
